I see you. I was you. Hard to believe I’m somebody completely different now.

For years, I was always driven, fiercely independent, and focused on my career and goals. I’ve been a nurse since 2014, and eight years ago, I started my own photography business—something I’ve poured my heart and soul into. I thrived on being busy, chasing success, and having control over the outcomes. Motherhood? It wasn’t even on the radar TBH. I thought maybe one day we would have a family but we’re having too much fun.

And then, 365 days ago, everything changed.

After nearly a decade of marriage, Nick and I welcomed our first baby boy at the end of November 2023. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. We had nine months to prepare, but no amount of preparation can truly ready you for the moment your life shifts overnight. It’s a new kind of hard. Somehow the best kind of hard (didn’t know that was possible)

Before Wiley, I thought I had my happiness all figured out.

My time was mine.

My money was mine.

My schedule was mine.

I thought I knew what true happiness felt like earthside. But I didn’t. Because there’s something about becoming a parent that changes you—whether you want it to or not. And let me tell you, I needed to change.

I was selfish. Not in an overt, obvious way, but in the subtle ways that only a child can truly expose. A baby comes into your life and forces you to slow down, to give more, and to love in ways you didn’t think you were capable of. It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. Good parenting takes effort, work, and intentionality from the very beginning.

For someone who built a career around hustling and achieving, stepping back from my business to embrace motherhood has been an adjustment, to say the least. Time flies, and this year has taught me that rushing to the next milestone or achievement only blinds us to the joy right in front of us.

My concept of time has completely changed since becoming a mom. How do you spend your time? Because it flies. One moment, you’re holding a newborn in your arms, and before you know it, they’re turning 1. Then they start school. Then they graduate. And then they’re an adult and may be starting a family of their own one day.. whew!

For me, the thought of sending Wiley to public school someday is heavy. If that’s our path, it means I’ll only have four more years with him at home before he starts spending most of his time outside of these walls. Four years. That’s all.

So if, over the next four years, my business doesn’t grow the way I’d hoped or I don’t hit certain milestones, that’s okay. Because I’ll be present at home. Time at home with my family is the most valuable thing I have, and it’s something money will never be able to buy.

Why are we so quick to move on to the next thing? What are we chasing?

The truth is, our time here on Earth is fleeting. One day, the businesses we built, the jobs we worked, and the accolades we earned will fade. What will remain are the relationships we cultivated and the love we gave to those closest to us. For me, that love now revolves completely around my family—my husband, my baby, and the life we’re building together.

If you’re someone who doesn’t want kids or isn’t sure about having them, I’m not here to change your mind. Everyone’s journey is their own. But I’ll say this: I never knew what I was missing until Wiley came into my life. He’s taught me more about love, patience, and purpose in one year than I learned in the previous thirty plus.

Parenting isn’t easy. It shouldn’t be. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you. But the rewards? No business achievement can even come close..

When we leave this world, the only thing we get to take with us to heaven are our children. That’s heavy, isn’t it? But it’s also beautiful. Our legacy isn’t entirely in the work we do or the accolades we earn—it’s in the lives we shape and the love we leave behind.

So, to the girl who never wanted kids: Life is unpredictable. Sometimes, the things we think we don’t want turn out to be exactly what we need. And sometimes, they turn out to be the greatest joy we never knew we were missing.

With love,

A Mom Who Gets It Now